The epiphany was quite a surprise. Recently, while watching a commercial for Buy-Mart’s “Back-to-School Christmas Sale,” I suddenly heard a deep and resonant voice. “Go forth from thy home, thy condo, and get thee to the mountaintop.”

Well, who was I to argue? So I got me forth and went straight to the first mountaintop I could find. There that same deep, resonant voice spoke once again. “Speak these words unto the teachers, the instructors, the pedagogues of thy people….”

Again, I’m not usually one to argue with such voices, even the redundant ones. So, I hereby share these “Ten Commandments of American Religious Diversity” – along with my own commentary – with those among who have undertaken us sacred task of teaching our young people in public schools,

I. Thou shalt not preach religion in the classroom. To many, this may seem a self-evident truth – that in a free country that considers all religions created equal, no particular creed should be taught in the public schools. Alas, teachers across the fruited plain have students sing religious music, participate in religious festivals, and even – no kidding – pretend to be religious crusaders sometimes.

Teachers, let’s make a deal: we clergy people will leave the math instruction to you; you leave the preaching to us. OK?

II. Regarding Commandment I, thou shalt get the point. Some teachers say “We would have been able to sing this beautiful Christmas music, but David is Jewish, so we can’t.” Or, “There’s a fantastic Easter project we could do, but only if we’re all are OK with it – Fatima, what do you think?” Oh, they might be sticking to the rules, all right, but they humiliate their students in the process. Can’t they see that tolerance is about preserving the dignity of our students, not destroying it?

III. Thou shalt teach about religion in the classroom. Clearly, there is a difference between preaching, on the one hand, and teaching about religion on the other. European history, Western music, the Civil Rights movement…religion had a profound effect on them all. Editing religion out of textbooks would make them look like redacted government documents – showing more blackouts than truth.

IV. Thou shalt acknowledge the differences between the good religions and the bad. As for me, I want my kids to know that “religion” can give us both the Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Osama bin Laden, both saintly Mother and Theresa and Grand Inquisitor Tomas de Torquemada, both idealistic Mayflower Pilgrims and brainwashed Jonestown cult-members.

V. In thy teaching about religion, thou shalt not goofeth it up. I hear reports of all kinds of crazy things kids learn in school about Judaism and other religions. Part of me wants to laugh when I hear them; part of me wants to cry. Teaching religion requires the same high level of scholarship as does teaching any other subject – especially these days.

VI. Thou shalt honor the religions about which thou teacheth. The Jewish calendar, for example, is filled with holidays of all kinds. But only rarely am I invited to speak about the important ones. Instead, most schoolteachers invite me to speak about Chanukah, a minor festival, as Jewish celebrations go.

Don’t get me wrong – I appreciate these invitations very much. But remember the bad date who says, “Enough of me talking about myself – what do you think about me?” Here it feels like the teachers are saying, “Enough about what we do at Christmastime – what do you do at Christmastime?”

Chanukah invitations are nice; invitations to speak about our Sabbath and other significant Jewish celebrations would be even better.

VII. Thou shalt not drown thy students in tinsel. Sure, a Christmas tree here, a smiling Santa there, these things won’t kill us. But too much of even a good thing, like tinsel, can be smothering. For the sake of us non-Christmas celebrants, how ‘bout using a little moderation?

VIII. Thou shalt teacheth values…always. Although sectarian religious teaching has no place in public schools, teaching core American values certainly does. Teach compassion. Teach justice. Teach the great opportunities and responsibilities of freedom and wealth. Schoolteachers, for the sake of our nation, you dare not do anything less.

IX. Verily shalt thou bewareth the Grinch, in all of the forms he takes. When school customs clash with a student’s religion, schools should allow that student to opt-out with dignity. But while such sensitivity is important, it is also important not to subject our schools to the tyranny of the minority. Even schools with anarchist families should still fly our flag; we should still recite the Pledge of Allegiance even if some parents object; there are times when tests and other school events will occur on religious holidays. Those who insist upon forbidding every custom other than their own become Grinch-like. Rather than kowtow to them, we should speak with them, insisting that we all work together for the good of the entire community.

X. Thou shalt cherish each of your students. Those kids are so different from one another. So many races, creeds, and cultures; so many dreams; so many and hopes. Teachers, look them! They need you …desperately. We all do. Look into their eyes, teach to the person you find there. Listen to what they say, then help them sing out from what lies behind their words.

And despite all of the rules to the contrary, figure out an appropriate way to hold your students close, for that’s the only way you can feel their heartbeats. And only then, only as you embrace the very essence of their humanity, can you truly teach the sacred young souls we entrust to your care.