Jewish Ethics and Virtues:  Gratitude
Sermon, June 16, 2006
Rabbi Bruce Kadden

In the book of Leviticus, God instructs Moses to say to the Israelites:  “You shall be holy, for I, Adonai your God am holy.”  What does it mean to be holy?  It begins with the mitzvot, observing the teachings which God has set forward, according to our understanding.

But it is more than just observing the mitzvot; Judaism sets forth a realm of teachings, often referred to as middot or values that go well beyond our legal responsibilities. 

Rabbi Joseph Telushkin has begun the task of assembling many of these concepts in a multi-volume work entitled A Code of Jewish Ethics.  He hopes to distill from the vast wealth of Jewish sources, the basic teachings with regard to character and integrity.  The first volume, which was recently published, contains such topics as:  good manners and civility, common sense, anger, envy, humility, and repentance and forgiveness.

During this summer, our Rabbinic Intern, Amy Rossel, and I will share some of the insights that Rabbi Telushkin offers in his book, as we explore some of these topics.

This evening, I want to begin with gratitude.  The Hebrew term for gratitude is “hakarat hatov,” literally recognizing the good.  When we show gratitude, we recognize the good that someone has done for us.

At the heart of this concept is a basic attitude that we bring toward our world and our life.  Do we look at life as a gift, something that has been given to us and for which therefore we should show appreciation, or do we consider it an entitlement, something owed to us?  Do we consider ourselves fortunate to be who we are and to have what we have or do we take these things for granted?

Judaism, of course, teaches that we should consider life a gift and that we should consider ourselves fortunate for what we have and who we are.  In Pirkei Avot, the Chapters of our Ancestors, Ben Zoma asks the question:  “Eizeh hu ashir?  Who is rich?”  and answers:  “hasamei’ach b’chelko, one who is happy with one’s portion.”  Gratitude takes this happiness a step further, by assuring that we show our appreciation for our portion.

Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel has observed that one of the greatest sins we commit is to take things for granted.  Reciting blessings, in which we show our appreciation to God, helps prevent us from taking things for granted and should help instill a sense of gratitude. 

Expressing gratitude can be a simply as uttering a b’racha, a blessing, or saying thank you.  But often, we show gratitude not by words, but by our actions.  Rabbi Telushkin cites the story of Rabbi Joseph Solovetchik, known as the Rav.  Once a week for several months he went from the Bronx to Manhattan to visit a woman with cancer because this woman’s father had once done a kindness for the Rav’s father.  Another time, the Rav made a shiva call after the death of a scholar he had met only once, when the scholar had paid a shiva call to the Rav after his father’s death.

Sometimes it is not possible to respond in kind to someone who has done something for us.  Rabbi Telushkin suggests that in those circumstances we can “repay one person’s kindness by being kind to someone else.”  I am sure that you have often experienced a stranger doing a small kindness; you cannot pay them back, but you can “pass it on,” by doing a similar kindness for someone else.  Rabbi Telushkin cites the story of a businessman who received an interest-free loan from a friend of his father’s.  Many years passed and finally the businessman went to repay the loan, but the lender refused to accept his check!  The businessman was frustrated; he had worked hard and had finally succeeded and wanted to repay the loan.  But the lender explained that many years earlier he had also borrowed money and when he went back to repay it, the man refused, saying, “You do have to repay it, but not to me.  Sometime in the future someone will come to you for a loan and you can repay it by making the loan and then he can repay you by making a loan to someone else.

All of us are where we are today because of the help of many people:  our parents and families, our teachers and fellow students, our friends and employers and many others too numerous to mention.  Some of these people are still in our lives, and we can thank them for what they have done for us.  Many others have passed on or are no longer part of our lives.  For their sake, we can only pass on to others what they have given to us.

Sometimes it is difficult to be grateful for what we have.  When things are particularly difficult, a Yiddish proverb reminds us, “If you cannot be grateful for what you have received, then be thankful for what you have been spared.”  There is a wonderful Yiddish story called “It Could Always Be Worse” about a family with six children who live in a one-room hut. 

The commotion and arguing and noise got to be too much, so the father went to the rabbi for advice.  After hearing the man’s complaint, the rabbi suggested that he take his chickens and rooster and bring them in the house!  The man was perplexed, but did what the rabbi said.  It only seemed to be worse, and after a few days the man went back to the rabbi.  This time the rabbi told him to take his goat and bring it in the house with them.  “You must be joking,” the man said to the rabbi, but the rabbi insisted that he was serious, so the man brought the goat into the house. 

The story continues with the rabbi telling the man to bring his cow and all the other animals into the house with him.  Of course, it is only worse than ever.  The desperate man returned to the rabbi, who told him to go home and take all the animals out of his hut.  The man eagerly returned home and let the animals out and from that day on the man truly appreciated being at home with just his wife and children.

Indeed, we should remember that it could always be worse and that we should therefore be grateful for all that we do have.  These past couple of weeks we have been reading about the Israelites as they fight and complain and rebel against God and Moses during their wanderings in the wilderness.  Despite all that God and Moses have done for them, despite crossing the sea, receiving the Torah for spiritual sustenance and the manna for physical sustenance, the people are very upset.  Rather than being grateful for what they have, they are scared and angry and frustrated. They have clearly demonstrated that they are not worthy of entering the Promised Land, and in this week’s portion, God will indeed decree that the generation of adults who left Egypt –except for Joshua and Caleb who demonstrate their faith and trust in God—the generation who left Egypt will die in the wilderness and a new generation will enter the land. This new generation, it is hoped, will be grateful for what they have and therefore merit entering the land.

There are many different ways to show that we are grateful, to acknowledge our gratitude when someone has been kind to us or done something for us.  But most of the time, all it takes is two simple words:  Thank you.  May we commit ourselves to showing our gratitude each and every day.

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